Nick - We Had The Magic All Along -OR- The Future Of The Shadow Of My...
You know what's cool? Statistics. Statistics are so cool. This year I'm taking a class that involves writing a very light junior thesis (only has to be around 20 pages) on a topic of my choosing...
View ArticleEditor, give me a title
robert langellierIt's come to my attention lately that there are more important things than blogging on invisible Wordpress accounts about journalism articles you've already written. Like blogging on...
View ArticleThere's these things and they're pissing me off.
Man, fuck coffee. Or fuck my body. Something's not right — I drink a beverage and now I can't control myself? Fucking Parkinson's juice.Cigarettes are dumb too. I found one at a party last Saturday,...
View ArticleCannon Delight
None of these took me more than five minutes to write. So I'm pretty proud, considering.
View ArticleIn Which Nick Talks About Politics
Fair warning: what is about to follow is little more than an unsubstantiated and undirected discourse, fueled by unabashed partisanship and proliferous naivety.We won.But hold on, I'm not talking about...
View ArticleSunrise Over the Back Balcony
robert langellierIn a sunrise you can witness the planetary shift at once. Besides shooting stars and sunsets, it’s the only time you can look at the sky and see it change in real time. You can see the...
View ArticleStick a fire in the shellhole: A corn on the cob story
Now old Maurice was really uptight about his wares. There's hardly anything in his shop you could talk him down for. But his wife Candice would work the shop on Saturdays and that's when you could...
View ArticleUnbuckled under the legal limit
It's all typography. Something about these characteristics makes it apparent. The old fraud wouldn't be getting his view from that window back for many days. It was just something that couldn't be...
View ArticleVanishing Dangling Sounds
robert langellierThe arc of Ron’s sentences would often loop up and hang there suspended and strangled, unsure of where to travel, his sense of locutional direction suddenly vaporized, the arc left to...
View ArticleNick - Fuck You, I've Written 119 Classic Brians
And I went through and tagged all of them.(Minus one about jellyfish that Blogger has, for some reason, decided shall never be updated, edited, deleted, or otherwise amended.)Remember when Eliot posted...
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Nick - It's Definitely Time For Conor To Shave
Listen, I know I'm probably wrong about a lot of things. And I'm okay with that! For example, I couldn't tell you much about the probability of a meteor hitting the earth within the next few hours. I'm...
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Nick - Additive and Multiplicative Forces
When I started playing Animal Crossing, I would fish vigorously until my inventory was full, run to the store, and repeat until I was able to pay off my first loan. Such is the way that Animal Crossing...
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Nick - Mitch McConnell: 27 Years Of Not Having Lips
(Please Click To View Whole Image)-Nick.
View ArticleHell, you were askin' for it
By now, he should have noticed what his watch was telling him: it was past the hour, he was late, and he was blowing it.Samuel Price couldn't have been any more oblivious to what he was missing at the...
View ArticleThe Light You Can’t Escape
robert langellierMarc ordered one more drink. Saw the fluorescent light shower on the back of the server’s neck as she bent it to watch the glass fill. She was bone thin, with her skin stretched tight...
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Conor - Classic Brian.
ALTERNATE TITLE:Y'all Motherfuckers ain't never saw this comingI find it as funny as you do that I'm writing a Classic Brian, other ex-Classic Brian writers who are (hopefully) reading this. I'm not...
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I'll write for whatever fucking blog I want
~ by robert langellier ~Looks like you dickbags are at unofficial right now.I can tell because:nice one, MadaIn France we don't have holidays. Mardi Gras? Nah. St. Patrick's Day? Do they have Irish...
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Someone should be shot in the face for this
Whoa, that is some delicious looking juice. As we all know, red and green are complementary colors, so this bottle pops. It's a slim bottle, weighing in at a petit 10 ounces. Great, now I don't even...
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